Give me a sign (I want to Believe)
by thou-shall-not-be-named-9
Summary: Garrett and Carlisle try to hide their relationship from the rest of the immortal world...Basically Aro has enforced a law over vampires to prevent them having relationships with someone of the same sex, and disobeying this law has dire consequences. Language and violence warning. Carlisle/Garrett.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: for the sake of my own amusement, Vampires have more humanish qualities in this story (e.g. they can sleep/cry/blush/get sick).**

 **And thank you very very very very very much CarlisleCullen199 for helping me do this!**

"Garrett!"  
I was knocked sideways by the force of the hug, his arms immediately around my neck. "Hey, you."  
"I missed you so much!" he kissed me suddenly and as inviting as it was to kiss him back, I had to shove him away. A look of hurt flashed across his face but he nodded slowly, watching his feet.  
"Sorry…I just…I missed you," he mumbled before turning to walk away, effectively closing the subject.  
I sighed heavily; although it was agony, we weren't allowed to be like this in public. Aro would refuse to let Carlisle stay head of his coven, and I would be kicked out of mine and get the shit shocked out of me by my _wife_. Carlisle and Esme were supposedly still married too, except while Esme had no idea about me and him, Carlisle was painfully aware of her and her new boyfriend, having walked in on them before. There was no way we could ever come out; this wasn't something that the immortal world took to kindly. The laws were ridiculous; I couldn't even hug him in the presence of others out of fear they would suspect the truth. Anyone deemed 'gay' was punished beyond belief, Aro claiming that it 'corrupted our pure image'. He wanted us seen as some perfect being, and anything outside of his vision was harshly unaccepted.  
I knew this was hurting Carlisle far more than it was hurting me; I still had someone friendly to go home to, someone who loved me. He didn't have that. His home was hostile now, his coven not approving of the little that they knew about him. Theoretically, this was endangering everyone we knew; if someone found out, they too would be in danger of having to face Aro's wrath, and Aro would stop at nothing.

It was killing me; he was literally two feet away from me and I couldn't even hold his hand. Instead my fingers were wrapped in Kate's, who was oblivious for the time being. Carlisle refused to look at us, keeping his eyes on the back wall. Even though the situation frustrated me, I was sure it was physically painful for Carlisle. At least I didn't have to watch him with Esme; they just ignored each other mostly.  
Time seemed to pass slower and slower, and there was still the possibility I wouldn't actually be able to be alone with him in the first place. We were just lucky no one saw the kiss, or shit would have it the fan.  
Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore; he looked so close to tears. As soon as the conversation ended I told Kate that her sister was looking for her, barely able to wait until she was out of the room before locking the door. He didn't react as I took his hand, staying perfectly still and holding his breath. "Carlisle, you okay?" I asked slowly, trying to gage his emotions. I wished that Jasper could be on our side, which would have made things a little easier.  
He swallowed thickly, nodding anyway. "Yes…"  
"What's wrong?" I stepped forward, closing the space between us and pulling him against me.  
"Nothing, Garrett." He leant his head on my shoulder, his voice becoming muffled by my clothing.  
"What happened? Is this about Kate?" I didn't have to ask; I knew how it felt to watch him with Esme on the odd occasion when something happened.  
Carlisle sighed and turned away a little. "I know you have to and I know you love her, but I just…" He trailed off, not finding the words.  
"It's okay. I'm sorry, I wish I could change things."  
He squeezed me a little tighter before ripping away completely. "You can't change it. Neither of us can." And then he was gone, the door swinging shut behind him.

"Boy trouble, Garrett?" Tanya asked, coming in the doorway he'd just fled from.  
I started; surely she couldn't mean…No. I fumbled for a lie and came up with part of the truth. "He's not feeling that great…"  
"Sick?" she guessed, moving to get something from the cupboard.  
"No…like emotionally…"  
"Oh. What's up with him and Esme, anyway?"  
 _Shit._ "Um…I don't really…I think you should be talking to him about that, not me."  
She nodded, contemplating this for a moment before going back to the door. "You see to make him happy, at least."  
I couldn't help but smile; I made my boy happy.

It took almost four days before I managed to be alone with him; everyone else had gone out to play baseball, but we'd conveniently stayed home.  
"I wish we didn't have to hide us." I sighed in relief, finally being able to hug him like I wanted to.  
He reached up to kiss me, unable to fight back a smile. "It's more romantic this way," he teased, laughing when I rolled my eyes.  
"You like being my secret lover then?"  
"Yes. Except I wish it was out of choice, not necessity."  
"Me too." I squeezed him a little tighter. "I hate this. That I'm not even allowed to look at you."  
Carlisle was silent for a moment. "It's better than the alternative."  
"And what's that?"  
"Not having you." He pulled himself closer to me, completely closing any space between us.  
"…Much better than the alternative." I leant down to press my lips against his neck, running my fingers through his hair. "I don't want you to go home."  
"Let's not talk about that," he answered quickly. "Don't think about it until we have to."  
"Fine," I chuckled. "What do you want to do then? We cant stand here all day; it'll be suspicious when they come back and we haven't really moved."  
"Stay with you?"  
"That's not an activity, Carlisle." _It's cute though._  
"It should be a full time occupation," he mumbled.  
"Let's just watch a movie or something, okay?" I suggested, trying to stop him thinking our separation.  
It worked; he laughed. "I thought you said you didn't want to be suspicious?"  
"Shut up." I pushed him lightly, making him laugh harder. "It's not like we'll be watching something sappy or anything."  
"And what if I want to watch Titanic?" he asked childishly, glancing up at me.  
"Then I'm dumping your lame ass right now," I teased, kissing his forehead. "Anyway, it's not like you can sit still for three and a half hours.  
That wasn't the thing he focused on. "Does that mean…does that mean I'm your…boyfriend?" he asked carefully, very quietly.  
"What?" The question caught me off guard and I wasn't sure why the random change in topic.  
"To dump me we'd have to be dating, so…"  
"Well, seeming as I've been kissing you at any opportunity I've got for the past year, I would hope so," I teased, laughing when he smiled. "…You don't think so? I mean…you don't want us to be like that..?"  
"No! Of course I want that! I just thought that maybe…maybe I was just…an experiment…"  
"Carlisle!" I pushed him back against the couch, making him sit while I knelt in front of him, holding his face in my hands. "I love you, okay? You are most definitely not an experiment or a phase or whatever else you want to call it."  
He shifted forward so our faces were touching, our lips almost meeting. "I love you too."  
"I wouldn't be endangering your life if I wasn't serious about this," I promised, nudging him with my shoulder.  
"…I don't think I could help myself even if you weren't."  
"You aren't allowed to say things like that when you're going home tomorrow," I grumbled, tugging him forward suddenly so he slipped, at my mercy now.  
"Can we not talk about that-"  
"We have to! What am I supposed to do when you're gone, hmm?"  
Carlisle wrapped his arms around my waist, slipping his fingers under the edge of my shirt as he kissed my neck. "I guess you're going to have to fuck Kate then, aren't you?" he asked.  
"I'm going to have to if you keep that kind of language up," I groaned. "It's fucking hot."  
The kiss turned into a bite, not helping my situation at all. "Fuck."  
"C-Carlisle…stop it…And don't you leave a mark, either." That was the last thing I actually wanted to tell him. I tried to push him away but only succeeded in ending up with him lying underneath me, his fingers against my stomach and a teasing smile on his face. When he tried to wrap his arms around my neck I pinned his hands to the ground. "You're going to bite off more than you can chew."  
"I wont bite," he promised, sinking his teeth into his lip. The fucker. He knew exactly what he was doing.  
"Carlisle…" it was more of a plea than a warning. "You _know_ we cant do that." The punishment for sex was far greater than anything else; bordering on death instead of imprisonment.  
"Do what, Garrett?" he questioned innocently.  
"You don't play fair…" I whined, trapping his leg between mine when he tried to shift. Taking the opportunity well I had it, I gave him his hands back, hugging him instead. In was a struggle to remain in control of myself as the kiss grew more heated, his fingers becoming tangled in my hair.

Somehow, by the time we heard the others coming closer, my shirt was across the room and Carlisle's clothing was a mess. I pulled it over my head a second before the door opened, and when I glanced up my boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.  
"What've you been doing to look so guilty?" Kate teased, rushing over to press her lips against mine. Kissing her was nothing compared to kissing Carlisle, and I found none of her advancements cute like I did his, more just annoying.  
"Nothing, Katie." It was a struggle to keep my tone even.  
"Maybe we could find something to do them, huh?" She tugged my belt, sliding her hand into my back pocket.  
"W-we have guests…" Rather, there's no way I could do that with you with Carlisle so close to me.  
Esme sighed as Carlisle reappeared at the top of the staircase. "I think we'd better be going."  
I felt the heat seep out of my entire body at her words, and when I glanced up at him the colour was draining from his face.  
"But we're leaving tomorrow. We agreed on that, remember?" he challenged, unable to conceal the panicked edge to his voice.  
"What's the difference between now and then? I have things I have to get done tomorrow, and I can't do them here," she persisted. "Anyway, we don't want to over stay our welcome."  
He nodded slowly, seeing no way out.  
As everyone else hugged and wished each other safe travels, I fought not to scream. My heart almost leapt out of my chest when Carlisle wrapped his arms around me.  
"You're my best friend. It's weird if we don't hug, right?" he whispered in my ear.  
I grinned to fight back tears, squeezing him as tightly as I could and quickly kissing his cheek as he pulled back. "I'll text you," I promised referring to the 'alternative' cell phones we kept hidden from the rest of our covens in order to communicate. Even now I knew his was in his pocket, in place of the one which everyone assumed he was carrying. He didn't dare put it down in case it was picked up by someone else, exposing everything. Mine, on the other hand, was turned off and hidden beneath a floor board in the attic. No one ever went up there and the excuse I used for climbing those stairs: Sometimes being around so many people became too much for me after leading a nomadic life for the most part. In reality, the only reason I ever went up was to talk to Carlisle.

I missed him already. He'd been gone for an hour and already it was agony. Even worse because he hadn't texted me back. Usually we only spoke when he was working so that he was away from the house, and he wouldn't be working for another three days. I knew every detail of his schedule perfectly, along with the difference in time zones between us.  
"Are you alright, Garrett? You're very quiet," Eleazar asked, catching my arm as I passed him.  
"Oh, um, yeah, I'm fine," I lied.  
"You sure?"  
"I'm good, Eleazar."  
He frowned but let it slide, realising he was getting nothing from me. "Tell me if you need to talk…" he mumbled as he walked away.  
"Thanks…" I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn't even know when the next time I could see him was, which made it even more painful; I had nothing to look forward to.

They were all noticing it; I knew they were. Continuously they asked whether I was okay, what was wrong, if I was happy. The answer was always that I was fine. Except it was a fucking lie. Although I could get to him in less than two days if I ran, he felt fucking miles away.  
Salvation came when my phone rang and his number flashed across the screen. "I miss you," I answered, offering no other greeting.  
"Me too…you, I mean. I miss…you…Never mind." He laughed quietly and I found myself smiling too. "Dork."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too, jackass."  
"If you're just going to call me names the entire time, I'll hang up on you," he teased, still laughing.  
"No! I'm sorry…What are you doing, anyway?"  
"Working, you know that. They all think I'm out here talking to Esme…"  
"I'm glad you're not," I grumbled. "I hate this; we're going to have to find an excuse for me to see you soon because its fucking killing me."  
"I know…Maybe I could…Or…You…I don't know, Garrett! I don't want to do this anymore!"  
"You mean you…don't want us to be together?" I asked carefully, holding my breath.  
"No, I mean I don't want us to be _apart._ It isn't fair. I miss you…like a lot…"  
"You're cute-" I hung up on him as I heard someone on the stairs, coming up. _Fuck_. I spun around as the door opened, coming face to face with Eleazar. Again.  
He smiled cautiously. "I know you want to be alone, and I get that, I'm just…I'm worried about you, Garrett. This is happening more and more and you're so…so…so quiet now that it scares me…"  
"I'm just…" There was no explanation I could give him and my throat constricted, my eyes burning.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He hugged me suddenly, and although he felt so different the abruptness of the movement mimicked Carlisle, and I found myself cuddling into him. "Kate is worried about you too."  
I couldn't force back a moan; my wife was the last person I wanted to have to explain this to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a little chapter this time**

Skype was simultaneously the best and worse invention man had created. As jerky and garbled as it was, it still enabled me to see my Carlisle from miles away. Even in pixelated pieces seeing him smiling still had me smiling as well. However, our conversation was closely monitored; although he was using his laptop and presumably away from the rest of his coven, I was literally making eye contact with Kate, having to use the computer in the living room. Except Carlisle didn't know that, and I was internally praying that he wouldn't say anything too condemning. It was hard to keep the conversation going while being paranoid about everything that came out of his mouth. Eventually though, Tanya unintentionally saved me.  
"Hi, Carlisle, how's work? You got a new job, right?" she called out, briefly coming into view of the camera.  
Carlisle winced slightly at the sound of her voice but he managed to reply normally anyway. "It's great, actually. Really fun."  
She laughed. "That level of stress isn't what I'd call fun, but I'm glad you're enjoying it, honey. How is everything at home? Are you going okay?"  
He hesitated this time, his smile dissolving. "It's still…about the same…"  
"I'm sorry, love," she sighed. It struck me how oddly close they were; I knew they got along well, but I didn't realise that he'd told her so much. Or maybe he hadn't and I was just insanely jealous. "You can always come and stay with us if you need to, you know that, right?"  
He smiled again. "Thanks Tanya."  
"I think I like the idea of you staying here," I told him as she wandered off again.  
"Me too…"

A week later I found myself alone again, using the excuse that I needed to hunt. It was taking all of my willpower not to run to Forks, but there was no way in hell I could explain that one to my family. Or to Carlisle, really; he would think I was nuts. And maybe I was. Texting and a few phone calls were a poor substitute for hugs and the occasional kiss; Carlisle still wasn't here.  
So my moping continued. To the point where Kate suggested that we try and find the vampire equivalent to antidepressants. I desperately wished I could tell them all the truth to stop them worrying, but the truth could kill them.  
"Garrett, please tell me what's wrong?" Eleazar pleaded, keeping hold of my sleeve so I couldn't run from him.  
A lump formed in my throat and my eyes burnt and I couldn't reply without crying so I just stayed quiet.  
"Please? What happened?" He stepped forward, his hands resting on my shouldered now.  
I couldn't stand it, breaking down immediately. "I-I miss- I miss Carlisle…"  
Confusion washed over him and he glanced at the phone. "Then…call him. I'm sure he'd talk to you."  
"No, b-but…" There was no point; he couldn't know. "It doesn't matter…"

As the months dragged on we still hadn't been able to see each other. I spoke to him less and less, never able to catch him on his breaks anymore. It was fucking torture. Kate tried to help, thinking sex made it better, but in truth there wasn't anything worse. Turns out happiness comes in the form of a phone call.  
When his number lit up the screen I considered not answering, knowing that it would only hurt more once he was gone again. In reality, I couldn't resist talking to him. "Hey."  
"Guess what?" was his immediate response.  
"What? I love you like this, by the way. Overly enthusiastic Carlisle is adorable," I laughed, smiling unintentionally.  
"I got a promotion at work." I could tell he was smiling too.  
"That's great…" He didn't usually tell me stuff like that, so I wasn't sure why he was now. Still though, I was happy for him.  
"No! You don't understand!" he was laughing now. "One of the conditions was that I have to work somewhere understaffed. Which requires me moving."  
"And? I don't get it, Carlisle. Are you going further-"  
"Garrett! I'm moving to Alaska! I'm going to live twenty miles from you!"  
"Holy shit. When?" I asked hopefully. It _had_ to be soon. At least within the next three months.  
"The middle of next week."  
"Fuck, Carlisle! That's amazing!"  
He was quiet for a second. "…I don't think I like long distance relationships…"  
"Me neither, but you're practically going to be my neighbour in a week." I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.  
"Yeah, but…we still have to be careful…"  
"I know. I know that, but at least I can see you on a regular basis because this really sucks. How does your coven feel about moving?"  
"They're…it's just me. They're staying in Forks…"  
"So no one is going to know if I come and spend every night with you, are they?" I teased, my hope expanding quickly.  
"No one except your wife. She's going to be a little weary of her husband spending all his time with his best friend."  
My smile turned into a frown. "I'll find a way that we can…I can…"  
"It doesn't matter!" he laughed. "Because I'm going to be so fucking close to you- I love you."  
"I love you too. See you on soon, okay?"  
I was glad it was him that hung up; I hated cutting him off on the rare occasions we got to talk. Somehow, even if I said goodbye him pressing the button made it easier for me to deal with.  
The middle of next week. Less than seven days.


	3. Chapter 3

We were barely alone, but it was enough. Kate was occupied with her sisters shopping, and Eleazar was somewhere down stairs. And I had my arms around Carlisle while we sat on the roof, his head resting on my shoulder.  
"Tired, huh?" I teased, pulling him closer against me.  
He nodded. "It's four AM in Forks right now…"  
"Jetlagged?"  
"Something close to it…"  
I hugged him a little tighter, pleased to just be with him. "Do you want to go home?"  
"No. Not yet…"  
"Carlisle, if you're tired I don't mind if you want to go home. I can see you any time now."  
" _I_ mind." He leant into me further. "The others will be back soon anyway. I'll go then."  
"Okay." I leant down to kiss his forehead but he moved so our lips met, smiling at me as I pulled away. "Fuck, I missed you."  
"Bet I missed you more."  
"You're so…" It started off an insult but I loved it. I wouldn't have him any other way. "…cute."  
"Really? Cute? That's what you were going to say?" he laughed, sliding his fingers through mine.  
"Well, I was going to call you a faggot, but that was a little harsh."  
"Like you're one to talk," he teased. "But I did miss you though… Like really, really, really…" he trailed off as we heard the car in the distance, sighing and sitting up properly, ceasing any contact between us.  
"Alright, bed time for you," I laughed, standing and offering him my hand to pull himself up on.  
Carlisle was all too happy to agree to that, hugging both me and Eleazar goodbye before driving away.

Although having him close to me was amazing, most times that I saw him we were accompanied by someone else, usually Eleazar or Kate. Still, it was a relief just to be able to speak to him in person. Tanya invited him over to our house regularly as well, meaning he spent at least one night a week with us. His flat was nice too; just out of town but close enough to the hospital. We spent every opportunity we got together – built around Kate and his work schedule, of course. His shifts were irregular, meaning sometimes he worked in thirty six hour blocks, but that was usually followed by two or three days off, days that we tried to spend together. After a while, I started to lose track of how much time I actually spent with him.

"Garrett…what are we doing..?" Carlisle whispered, becoming more alarmed the further we got into town.  
"We're going on a date," I told him. "I've been with you for almost two years and I've never taken you out once, so now we're going."  
His fingers dug into the seat so tightly they were white, and he snatched his hand back when I tried to hold it. "I've never taken you anywhere either."  
"But you moved hundreds of miles just so we could do this," I reminded, placing my hand on his knee while I drove.  
He stiffened in his seat. "We're in public…"  
"We're in the car," I teased.  
"…Garrett…" He wasn't happy about this like I expected him to be, more anxious instead.  
"Calm down, Carlisle. People do things with their friends all the time. I've told my family that we're together right now, and they think I'm just spending time with my best friend. Everything is fine."  
"B-but Aro…"  
"There's no way he's going to know we went and saw a movie together unless someone dobs us in." I slid my hand up his leg, finding his fingers.  
He let me do it this time, squeezing my hand back and nodding slowly. "Everything is okay…"  
"Of course it is." I leant over, kissing him quickly as I undid my seatbelt.  
Carlisle panicked, shoving me back. "Stop!"  
"Relax, idiot, the windows are tinted. Just calm down, okay? We'll be fine. This is supposed to be fun," I reminded him .

He didn't seem able to come to terms with it until we were in the darkened theatre. Only then did he start to enjoy what we were doing. "This is so cliché for a first date," he whispered to me, comfortable enough to let me hold his hand.  
"Maybe I want us to be normal." I kissed his fingers, surprised that he didn't immediately reject the gesture.  
"Maybe one day the Romanians will take over the Volturi and Vladimir and Stephan will come out and then it will be acceptable."  
When I laughed the lady a few rows down from us glared. "What makes you so sure they're gay?"  
He smirked. "They just strike me as the type."  
"And what about us, then?" I teased, kissing his neck and drawing him closer.  
"I would like to think that we fly under the radar." He kissed me back suddenly, unable to keep from laughing when I jumped.  
"Well, no one's shot us yet, so we must." It was in no way an exaggeration.

That night was completely perfect, but afterwards I hardly spoke to him for over three weeks. Apparently 'understaffed' meant 'we literally have two doctors working in the Emergency Department so we're going to work them to death'. On the fourth week he cancelled coming over for dinner, saying he had to work instead. The next week he cancelled our date. The week after was nothing more than a rushed conversation over the phone. The next week I didn't bother, already knowing the answer. Even the rest of my family started to notice it.  
Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore, waiting impatiently for him to answer his phone. "Carlisle, I need to see you."  
He was slow to reply. "I-I get off work in an hour…You could come over then if you wanted…or I could come to you…"  
"I want us to be alone for a while. I'll come to you." Instantly I was smiling, filled with anticipation. An hour seemed like a ridiculously long time, and I found myself in the car way before I needed to be. But then a text came through: _Have to do another shift, see you tomorrow afternoon?_ "Fuck." I wanted to cry, throwing my phone onto the seat next to me in refusal of a reply. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

The next day I had convinced him to let me take us to dinner, although he continually reminded me that what we were doing was "completely insane" and he was almost blind with panic.  
"Relax, Carlisle," I chuckled, placing my hand over his fingers across the table. "There's no one here to see us. We look like everybody else."  
He drew his hand back and shoved it into his pocket, biting his lip but finally starting to smile. "I missed you."  
"I wanted to come see you earlier," I teased, happy to finally get him talking.  
"I'm sorry, I'm just…everything's really busy…" he sighed, resting his head in his hands.  
"I'm just kidding. I know, it's alright." I trapped his foot between mine and he laughed, ducking his head before glancing up at me, smiling.  
"Really, Garrett?"  
"You adorable when you're smiling. Happy suits you." I waited for his rebuke at being called 'adorable'.  
"Yeah, but I'm only happy when I'm with you. So maybe you suit me." Another smile, this time more shy.  
"You're so cute it's disgusting. I love you." I kissed the back of his fingers, squeezing his hands.  
"I love you too." His voice became quieter as the waiter came over, trying not to be awkward about our relationship being so clear in front of him. He should have been used to it in this line of work, surely.

After we'd eaten, we sat talking for a while, me planning on trying to convince him to go somewhere else. Except soon Carlisle was leaning forward, his arms folded against the table and his forehead resting on top of them.  
"Carlisle…" I touched his shoulder as his speech slurred. "You okay?" Just by looking at him I knew what was wrong. He needed to go home. _Now._  
"Hmm…fine…" he mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric of his jacket.  
"Let's go home, okay?" Getting to my feet, I stuck a check on the table.  
"M-my turn to pay…"  
"Um, no. You're going home."  
He sat up then, glancing up at me with wide eyes. "N-no…you wanted t-to do something el-else…"  
"Forget it. You're exhausted, Carlisle. I'm not blind."  
Once he was up he was incredibly unstable, stumbling continuously before we even got out of the restaurant. He was too tired to protest when I wrapped my arm around his waist, practically holding him up.  
"Home to bed."

Turns out going home was the best thing we could have done. Half an hour later I was lying on the bed, Carlisle curled up against my side. It had taken literal seconds for him to fall asleep once he was lying down, but somehow in the time it'd taken between me sitting beside him and him going to sleep, he'd managed to wrap his arms around me and get as close to me as humanly possible.  
But, like all good things, it ended far too quickly. My fucking phone rang. _Kate._  
"Garrett? Where are you? You're late," she accused.  
I tried to keep my voice steady, running my hand up and down Carlisle's back after he'd winced at the shrill sound of the ring tone. "Oh, um, really? Shit. I'll be home soon…" I really, really did _not_ want to be home soon.  
"What are you doing?" she laughed.  
I sighed in relief as I realised that she wasn't mad, unsuspecting of anything. Still though, I had to tell her the truth, unable to think of a way out of it. "I'm with Carlisle still. I don't think he's feeling well…" I pressed my fingers against his forehead when he glanced up at me in question, obviously confused as to why I was telling her.  
"Oh, is he okay?"  
"I don't think so."  
"I'm fine, Garrett," he hissed, sitting up quickly. "What are you doing?"  
"Is he alright to be left along? Do you think he should come and stay with us?" Concern laced her tone.  
Again he started to protest so I pushed him away, trying to get him to shut up. "Actually, I think I'd better stay here with him. I don't want to wake him up again." I tried to keep my smile out of my voice.  
"Okay…ring me if anything goes wrong, okay?"  
"Okay, Katie. I love you."  
Carlisle looked away and I squeezed his hand harder than I should have as I tried to silently apologise.  
"I love you too, Garrett. Be good." With that, she was gone. I wasn't sure what 'be good' entailed, but I _was_ sure that I certainly wasn't going to 'be good'.

"Thank you!" Carlisle's arms were around me the minute I hung up, almost on top of me in an attempt to get close to me again, knocking the phone out of my hand. "I love you." He kissed me hard, holding my face in his hands.  
I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing him against me. "I thought you were tired?" I teased, my lips trailing down his neck.  
"I've never had you alone at night before and I've got plenty of time for being tired." His fingers found their way down my body, resting on my belt.  
"Jesus, Carlisle. You're killing me," I groaned, biting down against his shoulder.  
"If you leave a mark, what am I supposed to tell Esme?" His lips met mine, rougher than last time.  
"So you see this going further then?" It was hard to concentrate, made even harder by whatever the fuck Carlisle's hands were doing.  
"Of course not, Garrett," he answered innocently, pushing up my shirt. "But," another kiss. "I've got a condom in my wallet."  
"Fuck, you dickhead," I whined, rolling over so I was on top of him and he was at my mercy. "Why are you doing this to me?"  
"Because I love you." He was laughing, more out of nervousness than happiness I think.  
"Shit. You're actually-" I cut myself off, trying to straighten my thoughts.  
"I love you."  
And now my pants were undone, slowly being pushed down by the ridiculously beautiful boy in front of me. "Jesus…Carlisle…"  
He froze. "Not if you don't want to, Garrett. We both know what the consequences are…"  
Far too confident and pushed over the edge, I had absolutely no hesitation in agreeing – not even in a stable state of mind would I have argued.

 **As a straight seventeen year old girl who's never had a boyfriend I really don't think I'm capable of writing a sex scene so um, yeah.**


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning I'd never felt better. Waking up with Carlisle in my arms was beyond amazing, made even more so by the series of sins we'd committed last night. Fuck, he was amazing. It'd never even crossed my mind that he would actually want to do that, considering both the consequence if we were found out and the amount of trust the act involved.

He was beautiful, hair messy from my fingers and cheeks flushed pink as our eyes met.

'Love you.' I leant forward and kissed the end of his nose. 'How do you feel?' I asked, remembering the only noise he made was a nervous squeak once or twice and hoping like hell I hadn't hurt him.

He smiled shyly, sliding his arms around my neck in order to pull himself up to kiss me again. He froze halfway but answered anyway. 'Pretty fucking great.'

'You're not...I haven't hurt you? It wasn't painful?'

'No more than I expected it to be.' He leant into me again, unsurprisingly still _tired_.

I tried to bring out lips together but he shifted again.

'Garrett.'

'What's wrong?' I pinned his hands against the bed and he turned his face away again.

'I have to brush my teeth.'

I laughed but apparently he was serious. 'You do realise what you had in your mouth last night, don't you?'

He blushed again and managed to smile. 'Even more so then.'

'What about a kiss first?' I tried to convince him, slowly realising that I had no idea what his normal habits were at home. I'm already in your bed, can't we just pretend we're married already?'

He sat up suddenly, eyes wide. 'Garrett...you want to get married?.. I know we can't, but...you would want to?'

Now it was my turn to study the floor. "Of course I would…" I tried to find his hand, knotting my fingers in his. "I love you. Of course I would want to marry you. Would you…say yes?"

"…Depends…"

"On what?" I knew he was teasing me from the smile on his face, but I really was curious.

"On what you would want out of a wedding. There's no way in hell I'm doing any of that formal shit that Esme made me do."

We glanced at each other and then we were laughing hysterically, fear tainted by bliss. One wrong move and this was all over. "What are we doing, Carlisle?" I sighed, flopping back against the mattress again and replaying the events of last night in my head over and over again.

"I'm brushing my teeth."

" _Seriously?_ We just had that conversation and _that's_ what you're thinking about?" It was hard to act horrified, but the expression on his face was worth it.

"Um…yeah, I guess…It's gross…" He swallowed guiltily.

"I'm kidding, do what you want, I don't care." _As long as I get to kiss you immediately afterwards._

"What time do you have to go home?" he mumbled, his head coming to rest on my shoulder.

I sighed, running my fingers through his hair. "Soon, I guess. Before I upset anyone."

"I'll drive you." He hugged my waist.

"You're tired, Carlisle, you cant drive in this state."

"If I drive, then I get to stay with you a little longer," he explained quietly.

I smiled. "That's fine with me." Secretly I hoped that Tanya might invite him to stay for lunch or something. _Anything._

"We should go now?" He slowly sat up, biting his lip to try and hide the fact he didn't want to.

"Not yet. I think we should at least try and straighten ourselves up a bit so it's not totally obvious I fucked you."

He laughed, rolling his eyes at me but standing up anyway. "I don't think anything in the world could straighten me out, Garrett. Not even being married to a woman."

"Shut up, idiot." I playfully threw a pillow at him, which he dodged. "You know what I mean."

"Carlisle!" Tanya was hugging him the minute he was out of the car, kissing his cheek.

"H-hey, Tanya." He managed to return the gesture, looking anywhere but at Kate.

"You were sick? What happened? You're still too pale."

"I'm fine, Tanya. Just tired." His attempt to get out from under the scrutiny of the others was amusing, to say the least.

"I bet you haven't been eating properly," she accused. "Come, let me feed you."

"Oh- no, that's okay," he stammered, unable to help glancing at my wife who had her arms around me.

"No, I insist. You have no say in the matter." She grabbed him and pulled him inside, not taking no for an answer.

He threw a desperate look at me but I just smiled back; even if he was uncomfortable, spending that little bit of extra time with him was everything. I just hoped he felt the same.

Although she continued to talk to him, Carlisle couldn't make eye contact with Kate. And neither could I. All I could think about was kissing him yet she was sitting right next to me, cuddled into my side as he had been only a few hours earlier. Tanya had moved our party into the longue and we occupied the couches in the room, set on watching movies now. It strained to hold my attention.

Sitting next to Eleazar, Carlisle was trying very hard to actually stay awake, badly wanting to get the sleep he didn't get last night.

"You weren't lying, huh? You really are tired, aren't you?" Eleazar teased, pulling him against his side in a half form of a hug – a completely platonic hug, I reminded myself as jealousy flared within me.

He nodded slowly, unable to resist leaning against him.

"What's been keeping you up?" he teased, still not pushing him away.

"Garrett," he answered without thinking, his cheeks on fire the minute my name was out of his mouth. "I m-mean…"

Luckily, Eleazar just laughed. "Yeah, well, I supposed you two haven't seen each other in a while," he agreed.

"Y-yeah…"

Turning his attention back to the TV, he continued to let him stay close to him, the warmth of his body providing no assistance in keeping Carlisle awake. It was an obvious struggle for him.

"Garrett," Kate whispered to me, her voice that used to be so sweet slightly repulsive in my ear.

"Hmm?" I couldn't take my eyes off my boyfriend, both out of worry and because of how cute he looked like that. Innocent even.

She motioned toward Carlisle. "Does he want to stay tonight? I don't think he should be driving home like this."

I jumped at the chance but forced myself to reply calmly. "I don't think so either."

"Alright, you." She stood suddenly, hovering in front of him.

Panic flashed across his face and he looked through her at me, relaxing a little when I smiled in reassurance. "M-me..?"

"Yes, you. You're going to bed before you pass out."

Relief washed over him and he slowly got up, unsteady as he did so.

I jumped as she shoved him into me, and Carlisle froze as he fell into my lap. We both breathed a sigh of relief when my wife chuckled.

"He's yours, isn't he? Take him to bed," she teased.

If only she knew that I'd done just that the night before. Not that I was declining the opportunity to do it again. Carlisle squeaked as I picked him up.

"Garrett- what are you doing?" he asked, panicked and trying to get away from me.

"I'm taking you to bed, you heard the lady," I laughed, setting him back on the floor.

"Asshole," he hissed under his breath, so the others couldn't hear. "You suck."

"I don't believe that statement is very accurate, Mr Cullen," I teased, quickly capturing his lips once we were out of sight of the others.

He rolled his eyes at me but his face flushed. "Don't."

"Don't what?" I had him trapped against the wall now, holding his hands hostage against the plaster.

He made absolutely no attempt to stop me. "This. Whatever you're doing. We're going to get _caught_." He nervously glanced at the doorway we'd just come through. "What if Kate comes and-"

I cut him off with a kiss. "You worry too much. Calm down." Letting him go, I threaded my fingers through his and led him down the hallway, aware that he was exhausted and couldn't handle much more. "Bed time for you."


End file.
